April 2010

It looks like I havn’t been here in nearly 2 weeks! Ive missed you WordPress 🙂 Update on Literati with my mother… I WON A GAME! LOL I figured out that the key to “possibly” winning is not to take the morning dose of Lyrica. It makes me all dopey and in la-la land! Thats my story anyway, and I’m sticking to it.

As for what else has been going on well, a lot has really. John was on vacation for a week, we stayed home and did absolutely nothing. My son went to California to visit his GF and her family, he had a great time and probably wants to move soon. My old BF was in the hospital for a week, he’s back home now. Thank goodness. I was and am still worried about him. It seems he’s lost his will to succeed, and as everyone knows, thats a shit-hole place to be. Im really doing my best to help him want to go on and be all he can be… oh wait he’s already done that 🙂 The Army!  Seriously though, I really care about him and hope he gets well soon.  Have I told my husband that I’m talking to an old boyfriend? Umm, NO. Why bring all that past baggage up, we have enough problems without that issue to deal with. Do I feel wrong about it? Umm, NO. I guess I should but I really dont.

As for my Fibromyalgia, it seems to have leveled out a bit. I’m 30 today on the PFRS (Pain, Fatigue, Rating Scale) a “0” is no pain or fatigue, and a “50” is the worst pain, so I’m relatively in the middle, toward the top with my symptoms. I have been a 40, so I’ll take a 30 anyday. I’d prefer a 5, LOL. We will see.

Speaking of PFRS and Fibromyalgia, I have a doctor appt. on May 4th, with my Rheumatologist. I plan on bringing him some research work I’ve done on LDN. Also known as Low Dose Naltrexone. Its a drug if used at 50mg, helps heroin, and alcoholics stop receiving pleasure from their addictions. At 4.5mg (LDN) it helps the brain release endorphins and raises energy and lowers pain. If my doctor wont write me a script for it, I plan on finding a doctor who will. Its my body, and my daily discomfort, and MY LIFE and the quality of it thats at stake, and the stakes are too high not to try this remarkable drug.

I promise I’ll try my hardest (lol) to do a daily blog again… OH one more thing, I put 200+ songs on my new BlackBerry 9700, and OMG, thats the best phone/mp3/camera/internet browser in a gadget Ive ever owned. AMAZING!

and Life Is Still Good….

Patty 🙂

   This is a game I’ve loved to play for the last decade.  I’ve played with online friends, real friends, and my mom! I havent played since 2008 and decided to tackle it again to battle my cognitive difficulties due to Fibromyalgia. Yesterday, LOL, i doubled up on my Lyrica because my legs had those “shooting pains” that feel like hot pokers are being shoved in my hips and thighs. Anyway, I was pretty loopy and lost 3 long games to my 62-year-old mom! She reminded me that age isn’t a handicap, but a … whats the word…shit. Well anyway, were playing again today and she’s kicked my butt twice, but the score was WAY closer so far. I had forgotten how much strategy it takes for correct letter placement and remembering what words the computer will allow. I play on Yahoo Games using Amish Donkey backdoor site, (which is a great thing)! I also love to play online backgammon against the computer…which always rolls double sixes to win LOL!

I used to spend my time immersed in other peoples drama, friends, family, and I find that I’m just better off if I deal with my own “inner drama”, you know, the crap you think about that you never tell anyone about, inner dialogue. It’s so much easier to deal with myself without sorting through all the clutter which used to be my life.

Well, I’m feeling pretty decent today which is nice. I plan on enjoying this mundane day to the fullest and life is good!

As I reach my 42nd birthday, I have encompassed all that Ive learned up to this point, and I realize that my life has been good. I remember that turning 40 was such a big deal for me internally, but now I realize that being in the middle of life just means that you appreciate more greatly what youve learned, and it becomes easier to apply what you know to lifes struggles.

That being said, today I’m going to have a pedicure, go shopping with my man, and enjoy my life as a 42 year old 🙂


P.S. Life is good!